new year

Well hello 2011 ,im sure you'll be just as shit as last year ,i havent eaten i proper mal since Boxing day (26th of december) and on that day i was 117.something lbs.

Monday intake -nothing
Tuesday intake-glass of rasberry juice and sugar free vimto
Wednesday- half a glass of rasberry juice and 7 small chips ha
Thursday-glass of water
Friday- 24 edmamay beans like little pea things andd a bit of alcohol

Today- a glass of rasberry juice ,and my mum thinks im not eating lolzac so she wants to see me eat some fish seabass (fish)
my weight today: 109.4lbs

small catch up

Im still here
Im doing really well ,on sunday |(boxing day) i didnt eat all of my dinner i was 117.6lbs i havent eaten anything since then its now wednesday I am now 112.4lbs woo ahhaa im so happy even though i have no energy at all :s

1 month till xmas

I hate when people say they’re “pro-ana” when they’re just dieting. Pro ana means pro anorexia. A diet isn’t anorexia. It is a disease. You can have thinspo, you can have goal weights and all of that. But you’re not pro ana. You’re not anorexic. Anorexia is more than just not liking how you look. When you’re anorexic you’re no longer you. You are anorexic.

Dieting blogs are great <3

But don’t call them pro-ana blogs UNLESS you have an ed. You know?

24/11/10

When you call a girl fat or ugly, it’s engraved into her mind. Every insult will stay with her forever, reminding her that she’s worthless, disgusting, and unloved. Her mind will be programmed to put herself down, to hate herself and her body. Call her pretty? She’ll remember it for a moment. Call her ugly? She’ll never forget it. Because she’s a slave to the pain that you never even thought about.

4/11/10

Every things so weird with me now.

Today for dinner i had chicken pad thai with rice but after eating it I threw every last bit of it up,I've made my self throw up before but never been that great at it.But this time I was so good I didn't stop when it hurt I just pushed my finger further back till more came up.

I was worried about my self but happy with my achievement.

I'm not sure what I'm becoming but if I'm getting thinner its for the best right?

Resistance

Intake

Glass of milk

Glass of apple juice

Jacket potato

still done so bad!

Half term

I love half term ,no school ,an escape from everything and everyone.

I got away , i went away to jamaica for the week it was incredible.My mum called me while i was there ,she told me she'd found my laxatives.

I lied to her said they were from ages ago ,she said she was worried i assured her there was no need to be.

She believed me.

But she threw them all away i normally buy 2 packs at a time which comes to £10 for a teenage girl who has a slight shopping addiction and a not so normal obsession with topshop that £1o could have gone to towards clothes! so i wasn't happy but more so because i now have 0 laxatives.

I've put on so much weight ,i don't know how to even start losing again.

I must start watching my intake again restricting setting boundaries rules.

Tomorrow

I say tomorrow every-time but i have to mean it this time I just can't seem to cope with much anymore.

Off topic-

Im still in love with yuval.

I know i shouldn't be everyone says i can do better ,he's a prick ect but he wasnt to me.

To me he was the most incredible person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and I hate him not being in my life anymore.

Listening to Taylor Swifts new album i have never cried so much just listening to songs.

Last Kiss

Back to december

Haunted

Our

Especially have brought on the water works. Girls and boys, if your with someone and you really like them don't mess it up! like i did.

'wishing I realized what I had when you were mine' -Back to december

I wish i had realized this everyday .

Stay strong my lovelies X