'Me love sushi'

He's always on my mind

I cant stop thinking about him

But i cant compete with that girl ,all my friends say i can but i cant.

So yesterday i eneded up eating a avacado temaki which is sushi

looks like this minus all the stuff in the picture,mine just had avocado and rice, which was hardly anything. This morning i was 112.8lbs my weights dropping but slowly but its going ;)

Hope everyones doing good

Much love X

And the tears just keep coming

So yuval bbmed today and he made his mind up

heres how the conversation went

yuval : i need a break

me: ?

yuval : From everything

me : Ok then

End of conversation ,what did i really expect how could i compete with Sophie ,I don't think i ever have liked a boy as much as i liked him. I felt like he was my best friend we could talk about anything ,fight and make up straight away laugh about anything and everything. Im going to miss him so much .I cant believe he's done this to me ,i choose him over max. Things would be so much easier if i was a lesbian. But that isn't happening ha.

I woke up this morning jumped on the scales and I'm down to 113.8 thats one pound from yesterday. Its 5:52pm here and i haven't drank or eaten anything all day so hopefully it will be lower again tomorrow. My mum was ordering hi sushi earlier and i said i didn't want ,so she then told me how i was looking very thin and i don't need to starve my self I'm already thin.

(lie i have a fat ass)

Then she told me how she's bought loads of fruit and she wants me to have 2 oranges and a apple .So i said no i'll have to oranges ,which i probably wont do but oh well ,but if i do have them there baby oranges so should be okay.

I hope you all are okay and reaching your goals

Much Love x

Summer

Its been awhile

I hope every ones summers have been amazing and everyones doing well

I went to spain for 2weeks and a cruise around the med for 1week it was incredible i met the most amazing people.Before i left i was at my lowest weight 109lbs and now I'm back I'm up to 114lbs which is so depressing.So much has happened in my life the last few months break ups ect

and i don't feel like i can cope with it anymore.

wanna know the story?

Well it all started when i got drunk at my friends party (not a good idea) i ended up getting with this boy Yuval who is soo fit ha and then i got with this boy max who i had been talking to for awhile on bbm and shiz and in my drunkenness i told max i liked him and i didn't want this to be a random get with.So in the following week I'd been speaking to yuval and max on bbm,so then the weekend came which meant another party ,so i see max and yuval and i get with yuval :s .Max and yuval are so different its quite hard to explain ,yuvals like a bit of a bad boy that i cant resist that you know will end up hurting you in the end and max is the nicest guy just so nice .

So me and yuval were sat around the corner outside the party and max and flick walked up and saw us and said they were going to the high street then Max bbmed yuv saying allow the par :S

So more shit happened and i ended up liking to boys then i had to choose ,so i choose yuval but then at Joe P's house party i saw how upset max was so i just said broke it up with both of them and said id rather hurt one person that person being me rather than 2 .

Which probably wasn't the best idea considering because i still like yuval,Then the next day me and yuval were talking and he said he was going to get with this girl Sophie tonight and i basically begged him for an hour not to but then his friend Joe had the biggest go at me on bbm saying we;re not together anymore u cant tell him who he can and cant get with so i was just like OK ,yuval do what u want have fun i don't care anymore i obviously did i just didn't want to argue with them.Then Joe bbmed me saying 'Yuval just got with Sophie' i rang my best friend straight away and cried down the phone to her (shes also best friends with yuval) so she had the biggest go at me on bbm saying I've never heard her so upset how could u do this to her blah blah blah.So then yuval called me saying he didn't know i cared if i like him so much i need to decide what i want to do about it by tomorrow.

So the nest day we got back together and we were together till we both went away and we said we'd get with other people on our holidays and we were okay with that.

I choose yuval over max ,yuval got back 2days before me and now every things the biggest mess he got with Sophie again and i don't know what to do i love him so much i want to go back to him but hes annoyed at me because I'm annoyed at him about the Sophie thing hes told me shes just a pull its meaningless but he knew how much it upset me the first time but he did it again .

We're both back from our holidays now ,i've told him i want to be with him its his choice now but he's asleep considering its rather late where i am ;)

Sorry for that ramble but thats the brief storyy .im going to start trying to post every other day becaus ei cant leave you all anymore!

So before i went away i was eating 1 meal a day which seemed to work pretty well and laxatives if i ever felt like it was all to much but now i need to make a plan on what im going to aim to get by the end of the week ,im hoping 110lbs

but we'll see

Much love girls x