Summer

Im so not a fan of the outdoors

This is only going to be a short post because im so tired!

I've just been to this duke of Edinburgh award meeting because im going camping on the weekend FML

Im really not looking forward to it at all.

My intake today:

A small tropical juice

Vegetable soup with cranberry juice but i threw that up :/ (i dont recommend doing that)

Also I just read my first comment from 'got2bedancin247' thank you so much for your kind words if your ever finding it hard at any time just remember whats motivating you. :)

and thats it anyway Im off to bed now I'll try do a longer post soon...

night my beautyss x

Frustration is taking over

My mother is annoying me to a point now .She keeps going on about my eating heres how one of the conversations went.

(Last night)

Mum:Come down stairs were going to eat dinner together

(we never eat together unless its like christmas)

Me: Umm why

Mum:Because i thought it would be nice

Me:Mum i know this because you think im not eating properly

(Mum Puts my sushi in-front of me sushi's low cal but still i didnt want to eat)

I pretend im eating she goes out of the room i stuff some of the sushi into my pocket

Me:I dont like this sushi mum its the wrong one. And you know me I love my food (i used to)

and I am eating properly I had a paini (LIE) as well as my jaloff rice for lunch today

Mum:Yes but thats what 'those people' say and it can start of small but it can get serious (blah blah blahh whatevs) and plus spent £5 on that eat it come on.

I eventually get out of eating by saying i'll have a bowl of pasta salad later.

So i did i had a bowl of that which im not happy about i was sure by this morning I'd be heavier

But guess what ?

I wasn't i now weigh 115lbs

this made me so happy this morning, so i had my packeted lunch at school pasta salad again and but its healthy and low cal and my water . But heres the problem tonight its shepards pie for dinner so i have to get it in my room and shove it in something till i can get rid of it.I cant eat twice in one day so my little plan has to work .

On a good note, my hip bones are really sticking out , you can like see a shadow where my stomach is in the middle if that makes sense ?

Any way Wish me luckkk ,I so need it. And i'll be posting a swimsuit thinspo later

Thanks for following x

New Low

Wake up in the morning... weighing 116lbs!

I've reached my goal already yay

But my mums noticing im not eating properly she made me sit down and try to eat sushi but i told her she got the wrong one and i don't like the one she bought so then i had to have a bowl of pasta.As well as having jaloff rice at lunch not a lot (a small container) but thats still a lot.So now I fear I may be 117 by tomorrow.Which would suck .

My mums saying were having shepards pie for dinner but i cant have that all the cheese and potato and meat!

Yuckk errr im not sure what im gonna do yet.I'm hoping I'll be able to take it to my room and store it in a container till i can throw it away at school the next day.

God i really hope Im still 116lbs or lower tomorrow

Wish me luckk ?

Harper's Bazaar Thinspo

Woooh!

NO FRIKEN WAYY !
After i ate such crap on saturday and sunday i aspected I'd be up too the 120's again like last week but NO i step on the scale today and Im 117.8 !!!
I was so happy so I made sure i didn't eat much today i skipped breakfast for lunch i had a few forks of pasta salad and i gave the rest to a friend ,to drink i had a capri sun.And i skipped dinner

Thats it !
YAY Im actually on such a high i just weighed my self again and Im 117.2 Ohh yeahhh
My goal weight for friday may be reached before friday haa awesomeness .I think now that 2 people know ,Its giving me more of a push especially because i see charlie at school everyday and B im not going to see for awhile but when i do i want to look really thin .

Wish me luck x

Revelations

I've had the longest/best/awkward/embarrassing/fun weekend ever okay where to start ?

Saturday:
I went to stage school in the morning and then afterwards i went to my friend N's house for dinner i totally pigged out i had wedges pizza 2 mini hot dogs.So after that we got to our friend J's house and we watch a scary movie Amitiville horror , I wasn't really scared by it but it was the funniest thing J screamed and had his eyes shut like all the way through he is the biggest flirt ever i'd never go for him because were such good friends and he knows that but he is still the biggest flirt. Then his like cleaner woman im not sure really what she is but she just helps around there house , she brought us in chips an Then d pizza.I wasn't hungry at all but i still ate .Errrr im such a mess up you have no idea.Then eventually at like 11:30pm we got a cab back to N's and had raves haaa we played the wii with her little sisters and brother and messed around on skype and the webcam for awhile and eventually retiring to bed at like 2.

Sunday:
I couldn't even step on to the scales...
Such a hectic day .So i had to N's quite early because she had a duke of edinburgh walk that started at 8:40.So my mum picked me up and we went home.When i got home my sister and our (we have a few of the same friends since were twins) bff S were asleep eventually they woke up and we messed around for a bit until she had to go home and finish her coursework .Then at 12 my mum dropped me my sister J and C to the train station and we meet our friend D there we all got on the train to camden .After awhile we meet C's parents and brother (same age) and i pigged out i hate my self right now i had a gourmet burger chips and some nachos. Big mistake.
We left C's parents after lunch and shopped around for a bit .J got picked up in camden and we all go the tube back later on.C's mum picked us up and we dropped D of for her party and went back to C's house we invited over our friend who i love so much shes one of the most amazing friend you could ever wish for can tell her so much and she wont judge we'll call her charlie because i've run out of initials .So were hanging out we went to the park had ice cream .We enjoyed the amazing weather in London for once!
I dont really remember how but it ended up me and Charlie and B ended up in C's room just talking then the conversation turned to secrets and we all swore not to say anything.B told us his deep secret about something hes done with this girl (not sex haa) and then i must of stupidly say only one person has ever known my deepest secret my recently ex best friend .The sceret being my eating disorder and errrr im scared she might have told have told the girl shes hanging around with now who i hate.so B was pressuring me saying like come on i've told you the worst thing ever.We ended up in his room i was laid in un-maid bed next to charlie ,I told him he had to leave so i could tell charlie first because shes one off my bff who i trust completely .So I told her
She was shocked I told her everything
B came back and i eventually told him he was shocked ha what can i say he kept going on that im thin im not fat .He was so nice.He told me Im sexy and i should come out with him and his friends more and he'd tap that haa but basics he was being so nice .
I need to point out something before i go any further.Im 14 i've never kissed a boy.B , C , D and J all go to different schools charlie goes to mine Im a year younger than all of them.

So me and B are laid next to each other and hes cuddling me .C and my sis eventually joined us and B was still being nice he was touching my hand he was resting his hand on my stomach ahhhhh i really like him ha but hes one of my close friends brother .And plus i dont think he'd ever go for me.So at dinner i wasn't eating and FUCK SHIT.I dont know how really but come on shes not thick .Err and at dinner she kep saying how im an attention seeker and shit and i just typed on my phone to charlie and B that she doesn't know me she may be my twin but she knows nothing about me.
I cant believe I told B and Charlie they say they dont think think any differently about me but ya never know.
And now my sisters knows :( my life sucks
Hmm i dont know what else to say other than this weekend food-wise has been a complete fuck up

So Im setting myself Goals by Friday I want to be 116lbs i think thats realistic .

Good Points:
I fitted into my sisters size 6 jeans and they weren't tight

Ermm i think thats it.

Stay strong my beauties x

New Low 119 !

The weights dropping slowly, but its still dropping.

Just saw the new 90210, Anna-Lynn Mccord =WOAHH

Confessions

I've had an ED before

But i recovered .I stopped .I don't really want to talk to much about it but from my experiences I realized i was nothing without it I missed it.I put on weight since then and I've hated my self everyday . Before I took laxatives I purged fasted ect. And i stopped .I dont know how but I just did.

But now I'm back and I have to be skinny. Summers coming ,the parties are coming everything starting which means short skirts cropped tops dresses and so on.

I haven't done well today.Im not even going to write what I've eaten because its just making me sick to think about it. But I will do better tomorrow.It will be hard because Im filming a tv program (just as an extra) and the chaperones sit down with you and make sure you eat. But I'll figure it out.

119.8lbs

Im getting back down finally . But at the begging of the year i was 116lbs i need to get lower.Heres some Alexa Chung thinspo to get ya'll into the mode.

The Start

Okay so Im Tia

Im 5'7ft .1

Weight:121.4

Goal:

98lbs

SUPERMODEL THIN